Up Close and Personal

I got 'The Mommy Diaries: Finding Yourself in the Daily Adventure' for my birthday, and I've really enjoyed reading it so far. It's a collection of thoughts and short stories/adventures, kind of like 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. One entry was particularly relevant to me and I wanted to share it.

Backpack? Check. Sleeping bag? Check. Water purifier? Check. Hiking boots? Check. Moleskin? Check.

Just like any hiker setting off for a trip into the back-country, women enter motherhood as prepared as they can be. We devour books on pregnancy, birthing, and parenting. We seek out veterans to get the lowdown on what types of bottle nipples work best, whether to buy the disposable or wool nursing pads, and just how many hooded towels we're going to need. We take prenatal classes on child birthing, breastfeeding, caring for your newborn, and even how to introduce a new baby to the family pet.

And despite all this preparation, when that little child comes into our lives, we inevitably feel ill-equipped, confused, and sometimes downright shell-shocked. Even the seasoned backpacker trusts she's going to run into surprises along the way. No matter how much training she undergoes, lugging that forty-pound pack up a steep incline still knocks the breath out of her. A sudden change in weather can wreak havoc on the best-laid plans. Instead of the training preparing us for the journey, the journey ends up training us.

We can all point to the times in our mothering journeys when we learned some new skill, coping mechanism, or truth. And we're better for it - better moms, better spouses, better friends, better women. Sometimes the lessons come easy, marked by warm memories of connecting with our kids. More often than not they're painful. We uncover our own nasty habits. We make mistakes. We hurt others. But while the learning proves hard, the outcome remains positive. We draw closer to those we love. We make behavior changes for the better. We come one step closer to being the woman God created us to be. Sure, we're in the business of growing successful children. But oftentimes we find we're the ones undergoing the greatest growth of all. What will we learn today?

Instead of the training preparing us for the journey, the journey ends up training us. What will I learn today, indeed. It's been almost one year and everyone is still in one piece. Am I "better" yet? I think I feel myself growing as we speak. Ha.